Perhaps, it was the craziness of the last few nights or perhaps I am just insane. Yesterday, in a fit of madness or delusional thinking, I purchased some roller blades. We were at a thrift store, killing time till Vogt art center opened. There they were on the back shelf, hidden up high, calling my name. I told myself they would not fit, but they did. I told myself there must be something wrong with them, but there was nothing wrong. So I bought them and now I am finding out the perils of these wheeled boots from heck. You see going downhill is a breeze except when you realize that you have to get back up said hill. It is at that point that I realize I do not know how to skate very well aand I barely know how to stop. Since I think that helmets are for sissies, this might be the lasat time you here from me.
Visit me in the hospital and take turns feeding me soup, pull the plug if I am too much trouble.
Frank
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Day 8 and 9 - regression
Yesterday, on day 8, I became very involved with organizing my files (stories and essays) and I found an old piece of art (?) that I was going to put in the original booklet. I still like it so I made it the heading on the Want-to-be-writer blog. I also got a lot of organizing done but I found that I ran out of time so I did not post anything on the blog (here).
That is my excuse for yessterday and now I am dealing with today's stuff - more later.
And now - this is later. I am sitting in the sauna (otherwise known as the kitchen otherwise kown as my workspace). I have a lot of garbage goiong on in my head - even more than normal (which is a lot) The past couple of days I decided to put a couple of books I got from the library to use. Actually, they are not books but a CD and A DVD. The DVD is about Reiki attunements and how to do them. This is nothing new for me but for some reason I decided to extend the attunement beyond the seven main chakras (on myself of course). My theory being if I can survive this then maybe I will try it again (and become a supeer-person of course). So I used the attumement technique on my 8th, 9th, and 10th chaakras (they are all located above the head). I had to stop at the 10 th because it opened up something and I began to 'see' non-ordinary stuff (ordinary stuff being the things you might see in a normal day such as trees, cars, people. . . etc) (non-ordinary stuff can be auras, energy bodies, messages from your highter self, and of course angels) Needless to say, this makes for unexpected awareness and makes doing ordinary stuff nearly impossible. But luckily I did this at night and eventually I fell asleep. The last two nights I have been trying to use the CD which is a past life regression with angels (with Doreen Virtue doing the guiding meditation). That was even worse - I must have taken a wrong turn on my regression bccause I went somewhere scary. But I felt something release so it must have been worth it. So I decided to do it again last night - and this was much better. I asked to see if I knew Beverly in any other past lifes and I saw at least three major ones. One in which we were childhood buddies, one in which our current roles were reversed (Bev=man, Frank=woman), and one in which we were similiar to how we are now. There also was flashes from several other lifetimes, so I guess Bev and I have a history together . You would think we would have learned our lessons by now.
That is my excuse for yessterday and now I am dealing with today's stuff - more later.
And now - this is later. I am sitting in the sauna (otherwise known as the kitchen otherwise kown as my workspace). I have a lot of garbage goiong on in my head - even more than normal (which is a lot) The past couple of days I decided to put a couple of books I got from the library to use. Actually, they are not books but a CD and A DVD. The DVD is about Reiki attunements and how to do them. This is nothing new for me but for some reason I decided to extend the attunement beyond the seven main chakras (on myself of course). My theory being if I can survive this then maybe I will try it again (and become a supeer-person of course). So I used the attumement technique on my 8th, 9th, and 10th chaakras (they are all located above the head). I had to stop at the 10 th because it opened up something and I began to 'see' non-ordinary stuff (ordinary stuff being the things you might see in a normal day such as trees, cars, people. . . etc) (non-ordinary stuff can be auras, energy bodies, messages from your highter self, and of course angels) Needless to say, this makes for unexpected awareness and makes doing ordinary stuff nearly impossible. But luckily I did this at night and eventually I fell asleep. The last two nights I have been trying to use the CD which is a past life regression with angels (with Doreen Virtue doing the guiding meditation). That was even worse - I must have taken a wrong turn on my regression bccause I went somewhere scary. But I felt something release so it must have been worth it. So I decided to do it again last night - and this was much better. I asked to see if I knew Beverly in any other past lifes and I saw at least three major ones. One in which we were childhood buddies, one in which our current roles were reversed (Bev=man, Frank=woman), and one in which we were similiar to how we are now. There also was flashes from several other lifetimes, so I guess Bev and I have a history together . You would think we would have learned our lessons by now.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Day 7 - the Blahs are attacking (and winning)
There comes a time in every creative process where the thrill of making something gives way to the what-hell-am-I-doing thoughts and when that happens - the creative process enters the dreaded BLAH region of the soul. I am currently there. Yesterday, I decided to be a good christian and take a day off. It was after all, the day of the weekend when we are supposed to take some time off and reflect upon ourselves and what is the meaning of it all. I, however do that everyday so I decided to just take time off. I watched baseball (Sox, I think) but was so bored I went on the internet and that was boring so I decided to go for a walk. That was pretty good but the great insight I got out of it was that I was out of shape. How did this happen, I thought, as I reached for my candy bars to snack on. Still I was bored, so I decided to go to the store and get some more cheap back to school stuff. So I went to Staples and bought 2 pencil boxes (limit 2) at a penny each. Yes, I stood in line feeling stupid giving the clerk a nickel and holding my hand out for the change. I guess Staples figured no one would do this but they have not counted on me. I might go there today to get two more. Sale is this whole week. Then I went to Walgreen's and bought some little memo pads at 8 for a dollar (limit 16). (and two candy bars). That whole experience left me breathless, so I went back home and ate dinner. I sat on the couch and watched TV but anything over 4 minutes long tends to bore me. So I went back to the internet and there was nothing but boring things there AND WORST OF ALL - there were no new posts by any of us fledgling writers - so now I was totally bored.
I went to sleep bored and I woke up bored. I logged on to the computer hoping for some good news but there was none - just boring news. Now I am writing this and I had the blahs to start but now I do not.
so the moral of the story is - WRITING CURES THE BLAHS.
I do not know how it does it but it does. At least for me. Today. At least until I stop writing.
Later Writers and Writerettes,
Frank
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Day 5 - Feedback
When I started to write this little daily blog - a whole five days ago - I thought I would have instant feedback. So I wrote Day one and waited. Nothing happened. In retrospect, that was a key aspect to this daily blogging. Not doing it for others - but I must admit that when I started doing this daily thing, I was looking for it. After two days, I quit looking and decided to write whatever came to mind.
Now on day five I find there is some feedback. And I must admit that I enjoyed reading it. So that brings me to another awareness - I write to brighten MY day but if I can brighten someone else's then that is icing on the cake (chocolate Icing). I desire to write stories that help people and also to help them cope with this experience we call life. (at the very least by making someone laugh or the very, very least making someone feel that there is someone else out there who is striving to find one's voice.)
I thank you, for your feedback but I warn you that I am not doing this to curry your favor. I am doing this to prove to myself that I can do this writing on my own. And feel good about it - This is the real key for me. TO FEEL GOOD
So Far So Good,
Frank
Now on day five I find there is some feedback. And I must admit that I enjoyed reading it. So that brings me to another awareness - I write to brighten MY day but if I can brighten someone else's then that is icing on the cake (chocolate Icing). I desire to write stories that help people and also to help them cope with this experience we call life. (at the very least by making someone laugh or the very, very least making someone feel that there is someone else out there who is striving to find one's voice.)
I thank you, for your feedback but I warn you that I am not doing this to curry your favor. I am doing this to prove to myself that I can do this writing on my own. And feel good about it - This is the real key for me. TO FEEL GOOD
So Far So Good,
Frank
Friday, July 25, 2008
Day 4 - The Write Stuff
I am reading the book "Sound of Paper" by Julia Cameron. I have gotten about ten pages into it and I have two opinions about it so far.
1) It is not very well written - the chapters are amazingly short (1 to 3) pages long and barely seem to relate to the exercises at the end of each chapter. The foreword seems to have no point at all.
2) This book does not seem to be a happy book or even a blah book. To me, it has a melancholy feel to it. A lingering sadness. As if something has been lost or diminished.
That being said I feel that some of the exercise might be useful but I wonder how I might write such a book. I think that the first thing I would do is try to figure out what this book's purpose is.
How is it different from say the Artist's Way. What new ideas does it add ?
At this point, I realize that I have given up on this particular book - the sound of paper - because the sounds coming from my mouth are yawns. The idea of a book dedicated to writing using the Artist Way principles sounded exciting to me, but the reality of the book, its feel and tone, are underwhelming. I think that I need to design my own program on writing and I need to life it.
------So the number one principle is - Write everyday. Currently, for me, this means I will write online first and then I will write on my own computer next (my own stories). The writing online right now is about my writing life - which may or may not help you the reader in your writing life - you get to choose. Either way - I hope you will let me know what you think . I enclose my email address for your convenience .
Coughson7@mac.com
Keep Writing,
Frank
1) It is not very well written - the chapters are amazingly short (1 to 3) pages long and barely seem to relate to the exercises at the end of each chapter. The foreword seems to have no point at all.
2) This book does not seem to be a happy book or even a blah book. To me, it has a melancholy feel to it. A lingering sadness. As if something has been lost or diminished.
That being said I feel that some of the exercise might be useful but I wonder how I might write such a book. I think that the first thing I would do is try to figure out what this book's purpose is.
How is it different from say the Artist's Way. What new ideas does it add ?
At this point, I realize that I have given up on this particular book - the sound of paper - because the sounds coming from my mouth are yawns. The idea of a book dedicated to writing using the Artist Way principles sounded exciting to me, but the reality of the book, its feel and tone, are underwhelming. I think that I need to design my own program on writing and I need to life it.
------So the number one principle is - Write everyday. Currently, for me, this means I will write online first and then I will write on my own computer next (my own stories). The writing online right now is about my writing life - which may or may not help you the reader in your writing life - you get to choose. Either way - I hope you will let me know what you think . I enclose my email address for your convenience .
Coughson7@mac.com
Keep Writing,
Frank
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Day 3 - Second Thoughts (at least I think so)
I was sitting listening to Bev reading her essay on an ideal place to live. She was talking about living out in the West (which really means west of the great plains - mont. wyom. colo. ariz. and n.mex.). The first thought that came to my mind was one has to live where one is at. Sort of a Zen thing. Then I thought what if Bev is right. What if I really would rather live in the West? This thought led to other second thoughts which led me to think (or rethink) about me doing counselling. Is there still an itch to do that ? I listened to as not one but two people in the writing group last night talked about getting into counselling. The first thought that came up was - maybe this is a sign that I should try counselling again.
The second thought was quite the reverse. I thought about what attracted me to Psychology in the first place - finding answers to me and my problems. I was thrilled that someone had found out that the things I encountered in growing up can affect one's behavior later in life. I grew up in a semi-alcoholic house. I say semi- because my father for a stretch of a few years drank heavily. Then he stopped with no interventions, 12 steps or antibuse. He just stopped (the heavy drinking - beer stayed). Unfortunately, for me, the years he drank heavily were my teenage years plus one. By the time I was 21, he was done drinking - I was an adult and I had no desire for fatherly advice anymore. But I kept my issues, that is, until I went back to college and discovered through psych classes that I had issues. Of course, like most rational adults, I did not think that these issues were all that bad.
But now I was pondering a return to counselling and something came to my mind - the fact that I am now much happier now than I have ever been in my entire life. I weighed this happiness against how I felt when counselling people and I discovered something important to me. My father showed me the answer - all those year ago - when he solved his drinking problem - all healing is self-healing.
I have healed myself (and my issues) not by focusing on what was wrong but by acting on what is positive (for me). I feel I am on a path with heart and I feel that this path for now involves writing, not counselling. So I guess I can say: On second thought, I will continue being positive and writing.
Frank
The second thought was quite the reverse. I thought about what attracted me to Psychology in the first place - finding answers to me and my problems. I was thrilled that someone had found out that the things I encountered in growing up can affect one's behavior later in life. I grew up in a semi-alcoholic house. I say semi- because my father for a stretch of a few years drank heavily. Then he stopped with no interventions, 12 steps or antibuse. He just stopped (the heavy drinking - beer stayed). Unfortunately, for me, the years he drank heavily were my teenage years plus one. By the time I was 21, he was done drinking - I was an adult and I had no desire for fatherly advice anymore. But I kept my issues, that is, until I went back to college and discovered through psych classes that I had issues. Of course, like most rational adults, I did not think that these issues were all that bad.
But now I was pondering a return to counselling and something came to my mind - the fact that I am now much happier now than I have ever been in my entire life. I weighed this happiness against how I felt when counselling people and I discovered something important to me. My father showed me the answer - all those year ago - when he solved his drinking problem - all healing is self-healing.
I have healed myself (and my issues) not by focusing on what was wrong but by acting on what is positive (for me). I feel I am on a path with heart and I feel that this path for now involves writing, not counselling. So I guess I can say: On second thought, I will continue being positive and writing.
Frank
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Day Two - Special Little Gifts
Today I am focusing on enjoying some of the things that I acquired last week. We have moved into that part of the retailers calendar called Pre-Back to School Sales. In the pre-back to school sale time, one can acquire all kinds of writing materials for very little money. I do not have a school get list, so I can pick and choose whatever I want. The unfortunate part is one has to get to the store in the first two hours of the sale or the teaser item is gone. I found that out in two places - WalMart (5 cent 70 page notebooks) and Walgreens (5 cent mini-note pads).
It seems that stores are trying to entice you, the shopper, to do all your school shopping in one place. So they get you there by having an item or two for outrageously low prices. I bought 20 paper file folders for a penny each (Office Depot) and 20 70 page notebboks for 10 cents each at Walts grocery store, (my big splurge). I got 5 mechanical pencils for a penny each at Walgreens and I got filler paper for a quarter each (Staples) - I am still waiting for Target's sale to get pens and perhaps more notebooks.
The point is that these little sales came at a time when I decided to things -1) to face life with a positive attitiude and 2) dedicate myself to writing the stuff that is in my heart.
When I made these two steps, the 'real' world came out with its little sales and I take that as a sign that the universe supoprts me and is giving me little gifts as a token of good will.
I say thank you world - I will accept them. Now if you will excuse me I am going to use my 25 cent crayons to do a little drawing.
Frank
It seems that stores are trying to entice you, the shopper, to do all your school shopping in one place. So they get you there by having an item or two for outrageously low prices. I bought 20 paper file folders for a penny each (Office Depot) and 20 70 page notebboks for 10 cents each at Walts grocery store, (my big splurge). I got 5 mechanical pencils for a penny each at Walgreens and I got filler paper for a quarter each (Staples) - I am still waiting for Target's sale to get pens and perhaps more notebooks.
The point is that these little sales came at a time when I decided to things -1) to face life with a positive attitiude and 2) dedicate myself to writing the stuff that is in my heart.
When I made these two steps, the 'real' world came out with its little sales and I take that as a sign that the universe supoprts me and is giving me little gifts as a token of good will.
I say thank you world - I will accept them. Now if you will excuse me I am going to use my 25 cent crayons to do a little drawing.
Frank
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Day One
Toady is the start of what I hope will be my 30 day program to a new and better life. Of course, I am using a book for inspiration. This book is called "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting". Its main point is using something called : The Law of Attraction. To summarize the book and the law, what you attract in life will be how you are. You might be saying 'Huh" right now SO I will explain. If I am feeling negative (crabby), I will attract things that make me crabby. If I am feeling loving, I will attract things that melt my heart. This principle is the basis for the bestselling book THE SECRET. Everyone who has got this principle to work - you guessed it - they swear it works. But what about me ?
I bought "Excuse ME" several years ago in Vermont because I was feeling wonderful about seeing the youth (and their enthusiasm) of Burlington Vermont. I was feeling good and I wanted to get something to keep that feeling, a reminder of sorts (some people call these souvenirs). Being the nerd I am and was I went into a local bookstore and found several 'neat' books that I had never seen before. I scanned them and decided (because I was of course on a budget) that I could only get one - so I bought Excuse ME. And promptly, never read it. Cover to cover that is. I have read bits and pieces, every now and then but for some reason the message was too much for me.
But now I have decided to put the message in action. No more negativity. I am only going to cultivate positive feelings and positive results. Starting today.
What does this mean to you ? Well for one thing, no matter how bad you write or how bad your subject matter is, I will only tell you what is good about your essays. and if I win the lotto I will continue to teach (?) writing positively. I will continue to share my gift (?) with the world.
So if you have any winning lotto tickets lying around the house please send them to me in care of the Center in Palos Heights. Put them in a plain envelope and mark the outside with the words
WINNING LOTTO TICKET INSIDE - I know I will get it.
Thank you for listening,
Frank
P.S. Keep Writing.
I bought "Excuse ME" several years ago in Vermont because I was feeling wonderful about seeing the youth (and their enthusiasm) of Burlington Vermont. I was feeling good and I wanted to get something to keep that feeling, a reminder of sorts (some people call these souvenirs). Being the nerd I am and was I went into a local bookstore and found several 'neat' books that I had never seen before. I scanned them and decided (because I was of course on a budget) that I could only get one - so I bought Excuse ME. And promptly, never read it. Cover to cover that is. I have read bits and pieces, every now and then but for some reason the message was too much for me.
But now I have decided to put the message in action. No more negativity. I am only going to cultivate positive feelings and positive results. Starting today.
What does this mean to you ? Well for one thing, no matter how bad you write or how bad your subject matter is, I will only tell you what is good about your essays. and if I win the lotto I will continue to teach (?) writing positively. I will continue to share my gift (?) with the world.
So if you have any winning lotto tickets lying around the house please send them to me in care of the Center in Palos Heights. Put them in a plain envelope and mark the outside with the words
WINNING LOTTO TICKET INSIDE - I know I will get it.
Thank you for listening,
Frank
P.S. Keep Writing.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Maybe there is a god
Sometimes in writing this blog, I wonder if my words are just going out to the universe's garbage dump. To rot or whatever but lately I have noticed things changing. These maybe small trivial changes but they are changes nonetheless. Weeks ago I wrote about Plucky the cigarette smoking duck who seemed to be advocating reading to young people. He was prominately displayed on the Frankfort Public Library website. Last week, the library staff changed the website and poof, no more Plucky. The new website is . . . different. To me, it has a less childish feel to it. I don't know if that is good or bad.
Frankfort Library Website
Point number two - I wrote an essay which stated how uninspired I was by Frankfort's fireworks display of 2008. Well, for people who live in this area, public access channel 6 shows many Frankfort events replayed and I happened to see a replay of the fireworks show. It was surprising to me because the people who made the replay took out the terrible music we the people who showed up had to listen to and replaced it with instrumental traditional tunes such as John Phillip Susa's. Much better. However, the show itself still stunk - this time I counted 15 straight of the same firework. I had only thought there was 10 straight.
Point number threee - the evolution of my thinking - which really does not amount to a hill of beans but in terms of the creative writing class - I really have come a long way. When i started the class a year ago, I wanted only one thing - a class that I could use to encourage my wriiting, to get it out from the shell in the closet of the basement of the abandoned building of my mind that it was living in. I also wanted others to get their writing out into the world. I think that we, me and youse guys, have done that well. But I am left feeling that there is more that I can do with this class. It is just that I am not sure what that more is. Do you have any suggestions ? Frank
Frankfort Library Website
Point number two - I wrote an essay which stated how uninspired I was by Frankfort's fireworks display of 2008. Well, for people who live in this area, public access channel 6 shows many Frankfort events replayed and I happened to see a replay of the fireworks show. It was surprising to me because the people who made the replay took out the terrible music we the people who showed up had to listen to and replaced it with instrumental traditional tunes such as John Phillip Susa's. Much better. However, the show itself still stunk - this time I counted 15 straight of the same firework. I had only thought there was 10 straight.
Point number threee - the evolution of my thinking - which really does not amount to a hill of beans but in terms of the creative writing class - I really have come a long way. When i started the class a year ago, I wanted only one thing - a class that I could use to encourage my wriiting, to get it out from the shell in the closet of the basement of the abandoned building of my mind that it was living in. I also wanted others to get their writing out into the world. I think that we, me and youse guys, have done that well. But I am left feeling that there is more that I can do with this class. It is just that I am not sure what that more is. Do you have any suggestions ? Frank
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Which Weather - part two
The whole room was quiet, not just Hes. I was going to ask Hes what was going on but she stopped me with a finger to her lips - I got the message. At the altar, Deidre was busy lighting candles and invoking different spirits with each one. There were four candles for the cardinal points of the compass (east, west, north and south), two candles for above and below, sixteen candles for something I can’t remember, seven candles for archangels, seven candles for chakras . . . I lost count at a hundred. The altar began to look like Methuselah’s birthday cake.
Because of the amount of people in the room and the amount of candles burning, I thought we might run out of air in the room but then I noticed that the wall behind the altar had several windows, all of which were open. It was then that I noticed the sky. It had been a nice sunny spring day when I went into the shop but now the sky was beginning to cloud up. Maybe, a storm was coming.
I could sense that Hes was getting excited. Her grip on my hand was becoming vise like and she started squeezing it to a rhythm only she could hear. Deidre stopped lighting candles and began to chant and wave her arms making symbols in the air. She picked up a wand from the altar and I thought that it was a miracle that she did not get burned or that her sleeve did not catch on fire. She announced that the room was now sealed magically and no evil could get in. I don’t know if it was a coincidence but the sky was now very dark, stormy dark. A bolt of lightning accented the sky. A moment later, the thunder echoed through the room. As if by cue, someone turned off the lights in the room - now we had only candlelight and stormlight.
Hes used her free hand to point to something near the door. Actually, it was not something but someone. A dark cloak wearing person stood there waving his hands and chanting. He too, had a wand, well not quite a wand - more like a staff. He must have shopped in the same store as Deidre because he too was clad entirely in black. I might not have been able to see at all if not for his hair - his long white hair.
He strode to the altar but right before he got there Deidre jumped in front of him.
“As the Gods and Goddesses are my witnesses,” she shouted holding her wand up high, “I, Deidre, high priestess of the coven Seven Nineteen point Two, do challenge you, Mark Darklight for the right to lead this coven.” Mark looked both surprised and disappointed if that is possible. He sighed and looked the crowd.
“So this is why there are so many people here.” he commented. “I had heard rumors that you might do this,” he looked at Deidre condescendingly (which is to say he seemed to be looking down on her, even though the two of them were roughly the same height.) “I had hoped these rumors were just gossip.” He did not seem in the least bit worried that he might not win. “Very well. Let us begin.” He pointed to the crowd. “Which of you will be my witnesses ?” Several couples stood up instantly. He scanned them and gestured to a couple sitting three seats to the left of where I was sitting. “ I choose Ben and Bathsheba.” He declared. They bowed.
“Who will be impartial witnesesses ?” both Mark and Deidre shouted. The two people sitting to the left of me stood up. I began to notice a pattern to the volunteers. My mind had come to a conclusion as to what was next, but another part of me was not buying it. Oh no, no, no, not possible. I looked at Hesp, saw the sparkle in her eyes and the excited look on her face - it was not unlike that of the student who knows the answer to the question petitioning the teacher to call on her. I knew I had to get out of there.
It was at this point, that Deidre pointed her wand at my forehead. There was a flash in my brain and the next thing I knew I was standing up with Hesp holding my hand, listening to the applause from the crowd. Mark and Deidre touched their wands together and shouted: “Now we begin.” A loud thunderclap boomed as lightning flashed through the room.
Mark stood to the left of the altar and Deidre to the right of the altar. We witnesses were between them but not directly. There was a space of three to four feet between the two black clad wand wavers, we were to the side of that space.
Mark struck first, thrusting his staff toward the windows while shouting: “I call upon the elementals of the sky, Wind beings cast aside these malcontents.” A gust of wind came from the windows and blew toward the crowd. Strangely enough, none of the candles even flickered. As I looked at Deidre, I realized why. She was chanting while holding her wand to the floor.
“I call upon the earth spirits to block this gust and to send this evil back to its sender.”
She then turned and gestured to the candles. “I call upon the fire spirits to burn all barriers to the truth.” It might have been me but I swear the candles began to burn brighter.
Mark laughed. “I am the Truth.” he roared and added “I call upon the night to take those who oppose me.” An eerie shadow seemed to appear by the windows. I think most shadows are a bit eerie but this shadow was even eerier if that is possible. Deidre seemed unaware of this shadow perhaps because she was busy calling up a counter spell or perhaps she was already caught by Mark’s spell. For some reason, I felt I had to do something. Normally, I am not the interfering type, as I prefer to let things run their course. This time, however I felt compelled to do something, although I did not know why. I started to move toward the shadow but I found myself held in place by Hesp. She stood transfixed, holding my right hand with both of hers, chanting under her breath. I could not get her to let go of me. I looked at the shadow. It had not moved but it had grown. It was twice as big as before and thus that much closer to touching Deidre. Somehow I knew if it touched her bad things would happen, not just to Deidre but also too Hesp and me.
Time seemed to slow down for me. Everyone had stopped moving as I searched my brain frantically for a solution to this dilemma. I tried to pull Hesp toward Deidre but I might as well have been trying to pull the Sears building, she would not budge. I thought about slapping her or piching her, but some part of me would not allow me to do that. I looked at the shadow again and it was now on the ceiling right above Deidre who was still lost in her chanting. In desperation, I threw my left hand up above my head and shouted: “Stop.”
Except no words came from my mouth. I heard a ‘Pop’ sound in my head and I felt as if something inside of me had been released. I felt unusually light. I noticed my right hand was no longer held by Hesp. I also noticed I was no longer standing on the ground. I looked at Hesp and I could not help but noticed that she was still holding the hand of some guy, a guy that looked vaguely familiar. Before I could totally freak, I heard a chorus of voices calling to me from behind me.
“Sir Jack,” they said. “Do you truly wish us to stop ?” I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to turn around but I did. There standing in front of my eyes, well actually they were floating in front of my eyes - were, well I don’t know any other way to describe them except to say they were spirits. Some looked vaguely human but most just seemed to be made out of energy and as such took whirling shapes that seemed immaterial. They looked so strangely wonderful that I almost forgot what I was doing.
“Sir Jack,” they repeated, “do you wish us to stop ?” At that point there was a thousand things I wanted to know and it all came under one heading.
“If I say yes,” I said, “will you tell me what is going on ?” My voice was pretty calm which amazed me because I felt overwhelmed.
“No,” the spirits chimed as one, “that is not our job. We do not explain things. We make things happen.”
“Did you do this to me ?” I asked.
“No.” was their answer.
“Who did ?” I needed answers so asking questions seemed the thing to do.
“You don’t need to know that, right now,” they answered. “What you do need to do is say these words : Seeg Zaag Down Yup Silencio Return.”
“Why ?” I said without thinking.
“Because those words will make us stop.”
“What’s so special about those words ?”
“They are sacred words of THE LANGUAGE.”
I laughed in spite of myself. “Silencio is a sacred word ? Down is a sacred word ? You have to be kidding me.” I was on a roll. “Return ? These are all English words. Are you telling me English is a sacred language ?”
“No, we are not. These words are beyond time - their sacred meanings are quite different than the English words you refer to.” Maybe, it was me but I thought that the spirits were getting a bit huffy. I don’t particularly like huffiness even in spirits. I usually wind up challenging people who I think are being huffy. This moment was no exception.
“Tell me what Seeg and Zaag mean ? “ I said.
“You would not be able to comprehend their entire meaning in your current form. Would you like to know as much as you can comprehend ?” asked the spirits.
“Yup .” I said.
“It is done .” cried the spirts happily, “ You have said the words. We will stop.”
I felt cheated and tricked. “Hey, I thought I had to say the words all at once.”
“No - you only had to say the words. “ the spirits said, “in no particular order either because these are words of THE LANGUAGE. They move themselves to where they need to be.” The spirits seemed pretty proud of themselves as if they had just taught a baby to speak a word. I was feeling as if I was a baby whose parents had gotten me to say something only they could understand.
“Now you have to choose.” declared a single voice behind me. I turned around and saw a young girl who looked about thirteen or fourteen dressed in a white robe. Strangely enough, I felt bored looking at her.
“Choose what ?” I asked as I yawned.
The voice answered: “Which witch ?”
“Which witch what ?” I asked. My tongue was beginning to be twisted.
“Which witch you choose will determine whether weather is used.” said the teenage spirit a-matter-of-factly. She tilted her head as if she could not believe I could not understand.
“Which witch I choose determines whether weather is used ?” I felt like a parrot echoing her words.
“Or not.” she said calmly. I waited for an explanation. There was none.
“Come on,” she whined impatiently, “Use your wits and choose.”
Her impatience only made things worse for me. I needed to figure what I was doing and to do that I need time, so I decided to ask a question in order to stall for time. I reasoned that this usually works in regular (earthly) situations involving impatient women so why not here.
“So whichever witch’s weather I choose will be done whether or not this witch’s weather will wreck havoc upon others, otherwise if my wits were wrong would whichever witches not chosen choose to accept whatever would be wraught, right?” Even I was not sure what that sentence meant. My teenage spirit stopped for minute to figure out what I had just said. That was all time I needed.
I figured I needed to choose a witch and the only two people I was certain of being a witch were Mark and Deidre. Although Hesp was chanting so maybe she was a witch too. But the only two people who seemed to be using weather were again Mark and Deidre. So really it was between those two. It seemed like an obvious choice - Mark was evil so I would choose Deidre. But what if Mark was evil and Deidre was evil too ? Would the world be better off one way or another ? Come to think of it, hadn’t Deidre put me under some sort of spell ? Wasn’t that why I was in this witness unprotection program ? I decided to choose the one person I could count on.
“Which witch” the teenage pain of a spirit began to ask again. I cut her off.
“Me.”
-----------------------------------------------*******--------------------------------------------
Part three will come tonight.
Because of the amount of people in the room and the amount of candles burning, I thought we might run out of air in the room but then I noticed that the wall behind the altar had several windows, all of which were open. It was then that I noticed the sky. It had been a nice sunny spring day when I went into the shop but now the sky was beginning to cloud up. Maybe, a storm was coming.
I could sense that Hes was getting excited. Her grip on my hand was becoming vise like and she started squeezing it to a rhythm only she could hear. Deidre stopped lighting candles and began to chant and wave her arms making symbols in the air. She picked up a wand from the altar and I thought that it was a miracle that she did not get burned or that her sleeve did not catch on fire. She announced that the room was now sealed magically and no evil could get in. I don’t know if it was a coincidence but the sky was now very dark, stormy dark. A bolt of lightning accented the sky. A moment later, the thunder echoed through the room. As if by cue, someone turned off the lights in the room - now we had only candlelight and stormlight.
Hes used her free hand to point to something near the door. Actually, it was not something but someone. A dark cloak wearing person stood there waving his hands and chanting. He too, had a wand, well not quite a wand - more like a staff. He must have shopped in the same store as Deidre because he too was clad entirely in black. I might not have been able to see at all if not for his hair - his long white hair.
He strode to the altar but right before he got there Deidre jumped in front of him.
“As the Gods and Goddesses are my witnesses,” she shouted holding her wand up high, “I, Deidre, high priestess of the coven Seven Nineteen point Two, do challenge you, Mark Darklight for the right to lead this coven.” Mark looked both surprised and disappointed if that is possible. He sighed and looked the crowd.
“So this is why there are so many people here.” he commented. “I had heard rumors that you might do this,” he looked at Deidre condescendingly (which is to say he seemed to be looking down on her, even though the two of them were roughly the same height.) “I had hoped these rumors were just gossip.” He did not seem in the least bit worried that he might not win. “Very well. Let us begin.” He pointed to the crowd. “Which of you will be my witnesses ?” Several couples stood up instantly. He scanned them and gestured to a couple sitting three seats to the left of where I was sitting. “ I choose Ben and Bathsheba.” He declared. They bowed.
“Who will be impartial witnesesses ?” both Mark and Deidre shouted. The two people sitting to the left of me stood up. I began to notice a pattern to the volunteers. My mind had come to a conclusion as to what was next, but another part of me was not buying it. Oh no, no, no, not possible. I looked at Hesp, saw the sparkle in her eyes and the excited look on her face - it was not unlike that of the student who knows the answer to the question petitioning the teacher to call on her. I knew I had to get out of there.
It was at this point, that Deidre pointed her wand at my forehead. There was a flash in my brain and the next thing I knew I was standing up with Hesp holding my hand, listening to the applause from the crowd. Mark and Deidre touched their wands together and shouted: “Now we begin.” A loud thunderclap boomed as lightning flashed through the room.
Mark stood to the left of the altar and Deidre to the right of the altar. We witnesses were between them but not directly. There was a space of three to four feet between the two black clad wand wavers, we were to the side of that space.
Mark struck first, thrusting his staff toward the windows while shouting: “I call upon the elementals of the sky, Wind beings cast aside these malcontents.” A gust of wind came from the windows and blew toward the crowd. Strangely enough, none of the candles even flickered. As I looked at Deidre, I realized why. She was chanting while holding her wand to the floor.
“I call upon the earth spirits to block this gust and to send this evil back to its sender.”
She then turned and gestured to the candles. “I call upon the fire spirits to burn all barriers to the truth.” It might have been me but I swear the candles began to burn brighter.
Mark laughed. “I am the Truth.” he roared and added “I call upon the night to take those who oppose me.” An eerie shadow seemed to appear by the windows. I think most shadows are a bit eerie but this shadow was even eerier if that is possible. Deidre seemed unaware of this shadow perhaps because she was busy calling up a counter spell or perhaps she was already caught by Mark’s spell. For some reason, I felt I had to do something. Normally, I am not the interfering type, as I prefer to let things run their course. This time, however I felt compelled to do something, although I did not know why. I started to move toward the shadow but I found myself held in place by Hesp. She stood transfixed, holding my right hand with both of hers, chanting under her breath. I could not get her to let go of me. I looked at the shadow. It had not moved but it had grown. It was twice as big as before and thus that much closer to touching Deidre. Somehow I knew if it touched her bad things would happen, not just to Deidre but also too Hesp and me.
Time seemed to slow down for me. Everyone had stopped moving as I searched my brain frantically for a solution to this dilemma. I tried to pull Hesp toward Deidre but I might as well have been trying to pull the Sears building, she would not budge. I thought about slapping her or piching her, but some part of me would not allow me to do that. I looked at the shadow again and it was now on the ceiling right above Deidre who was still lost in her chanting. In desperation, I threw my left hand up above my head and shouted: “Stop.”
Except no words came from my mouth. I heard a ‘Pop’ sound in my head and I felt as if something inside of me had been released. I felt unusually light. I noticed my right hand was no longer held by Hesp. I also noticed I was no longer standing on the ground. I looked at Hesp and I could not help but noticed that she was still holding the hand of some guy, a guy that looked vaguely familiar. Before I could totally freak, I heard a chorus of voices calling to me from behind me.
“Sir Jack,” they said. “Do you truly wish us to stop ?” I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to turn around but I did. There standing in front of my eyes, well actually they were floating in front of my eyes - were, well I don’t know any other way to describe them except to say they were spirits. Some looked vaguely human but most just seemed to be made out of energy and as such took whirling shapes that seemed immaterial. They looked so strangely wonderful that I almost forgot what I was doing.
“Sir Jack,” they repeated, “do you wish us to stop ?” At that point there was a thousand things I wanted to know and it all came under one heading.
“If I say yes,” I said, “will you tell me what is going on ?” My voice was pretty calm which amazed me because I felt overwhelmed.
“No,” the spirits chimed as one, “that is not our job. We do not explain things. We make things happen.”
“Did you do this to me ?” I asked.
“No.” was their answer.
“Who did ?” I needed answers so asking questions seemed the thing to do.
“You don’t need to know that, right now,” they answered. “What you do need to do is say these words : Seeg Zaag Down Yup Silencio Return.”
“Why ?” I said without thinking.
“Because those words will make us stop.”
“What’s so special about those words ?”
“They are sacred words of THE LANGUAGE.”
I laughed in spite of myself. “Silencio is a sacred word ? Down is a sacred word ? You have to be kidding me.” I was on a roll. “Return ? These are all English words. Are you telling me English is a sacred language ?”
“No, we are not. These words are beyond time - their sacred meanings are quite different than the English words you refer to.” Maybe, it was me but I thought that the spirits were getting a bit huffy. I don’t particularly like huffiness even in spirits. I usually wind up challenging people who I think are being huffy. This moment was no exception.
“Tell me what Seeg and Zaag mean ? “ I said.
“You would not be able to comprehend their entire meaning in your current form. Would you like to know as much as you can comprehend ?” asked the spirits.
“Yup .” I said.
“It is done .” cried the spirts happily, “ You have said the words. We will stop.”
I felt cheated and tricked. “Hey, I thought I had to say the words all at once.”
“No - you only had to say the words. “ the spirits said, “in no particular order either because these are words of THE LANGUAGE. They move themselves to where they need to be.” The spirits seemed pretty proud of themselves as if they had just taught a baby to speak a word. I was feeling as if I was a baby whose parents had gotten me to say something only they could understand.
“Now you have to choose.” declared a single voice behind me. I turned around and saw a young girl who looked about thirteen or fourteen dressed in a white robe. Strangely enough, I felt bored looking at her.
“Choose what ?” I asked as I yawned.
The voice answered: “Which witch ?”
“Which witch what ?” I asked. My tongue was beginning to be twisted.
“Which witch you choose will determine whether weather is used.” said the teenage spirit a-matter-of-factly. She tilted her head as if she could not believe I could not understand.
“Which witch I choose determines whether weather is used ?” I felt like a parrot echoing her words.
“Or not.” she said calmly. I waited for an explanation. There was none.
“Come on,” she whined impatiently, “Use your wits and choose.”
Her impatience only made things worse for me. I needed to figure what I was doing and to do that I need time, so I decided to ask a question in order to stall for time. I reasoned that this usually works in regular (earthly) situations involving impatient women so why not here.
“So whichever witch’s weather I choose will be done whether or not this witch’s weather will wreck havoc upon others, otherwise if my wits were wrong would whichever witches not chosen choose to accept whatever would be wraught, right?” Even I was not sure what that sentence meant. My teenage spirit stopped for minute to figure out what I had just said. That was all time I needed.
I figured I needed to choose a witch and the only two people I was certain of being a witch were Mark and Deidre. Although Hesp was chanting so maybe she was a witch too. But the only two people who seemed to be using weather were again Mark and Deidre. So really it was between those two. It seemed like an obvious choice - Mark was evil so I would choose Deidre. But what if Mark was evil and Deidre was evil too ? Would the world be better off one way or another ? Come to think of it, hadn’t Deidre put me under some sort of spell ? Wasn’t that why I was in this witness unprotection program ? I decided to choose the one person I could count on.
“Which witch” the teenage pain of a spirit began to ask again. I cut her off.
“Me.”
-----------------------------------------------*******--------------------------------------------
Part three will come tonight.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Whether or Weather - Which Witch with Wits
The room was unusually crowded. The anticipatory noise was off the charts. It seemed as if every member of the group had invited three friends and they all had come with another friend. Extra chairs were brought in but even those had run out. Some volunteered to sit on the floor but the size of the crowd discouraged that as there had to be room for the ceremonial altar. I was lucky (or unlucky) enough to be seated in the first row. There would be no leaving early from that seat.
Normally, the spring solstice ceremony, which this was, was attended by the faithful members of the group and one or two curious non-members who wondered what was happening and were brave enough to check it out. I fit into the later category I had stopped in the new age store because I wanted to buy some incense. The store was filled with people, some dressed in costumes. They seemed to be waiting for something. I asked a young lady dressed in a middle ages type dress what was going on.
She said her name was Hespabah or Hespbah or something that I still can’t pronounce. Hes, as I will call her from now on, was a rather comely fair maiden who loved to talk and I must admit I liked talking to her even though she did ninety-five percent of the talking. She explained that today was the spring equinox and there was going to be ceremony and it was a happy ceremony and I would like it and I could have a wish come true if I went to the ceremony. At that moment in time, I could only think of one wish I wanted to come true so I decided to attend the ceremony.
At that moment, the door to the meeting room opened and a woman dressed totally in black stepped out. She calmly proclaimed: “It is time. Come inside.”
Hes grabbed my hand and said, “Quick, we have to go or we will not get a seat.” I followed along caught up in the moment. As we came to the doorway, the woman in black greeted us.
“Welcome Hespaba, good to see you. “ The two women hugged. The woman in black then turned to me. “Who do we have here? “ Hes answered for me.
“This is my new friend, Jack. Jack, this is . . .” The woman in black finished the introduction. “Deidre.” I did not know what was the proper greeting - should I shake her hand, give her a hug, or just nod my head. Before I could make up my mind, Deidre grabbed me by the back of my head, made a waving motion with her hands, and kissed me on my forehead. She let go and said “Now you are ready.” She motioned with her hands toward the room. “Enter Hespaba and Jack. Sit in front.”
Hes was very excited. “Wow, this is great - I have never sat in front before.” She pulled me by my hand to a couple of seats in the first row, just to the right of center. I was a little bit in shock. I had not expected Dreidre to do what she did and she did do something because I was in a bit of a haze. In spite of my haze, I managed to ask Hes who Deidre was.
“She is the high priestess of the coven.’ replied Hes proudly. “She will be one of the Two running the ceremony tonight.”
“Who’s the other ?” I asked. I was wondering if I had to be kissed by another priestess.
“Mark Darklight.” whispered Hes. “I don’t like him. He has weird eyes.”
“Is he here somewhere ?” I asked. I was wondering if I had to be kissed by Mark.
“Oh, no.” Hes said still whispering, “He comes in after the start and takes over for Deidre.” She glanced around as if she was making sure no one was listening in. “Tonight is going to be different. Tonight, Deidre is going to stand up for herself. She is not going to let Mark push her around anymore.”
It was at that point that I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into. Hes kept talking. She told me of how Deidre and Mark met, how Mark had made her his apprentice, how Mark had seduced Deidre and how for two years Deidre had stood at Mark’s side as he grew in magic and fame (? I wondered if there was a witch subculture and just how famous Mark was.) I wondered if Deidre had somehow marked me and I wondered if Mark was going to be jealous and I was about to wonder what curse would be laid upon me when. . . . I noticed the quiet.
The rest of the story will be revealed in class tonight - Frank
Normally, the spring solstice ceremony, which this was, was attended by the faithful members of the group and one or two curious non-members who wondered what was happening and were brave enough to check it out. I fit into the later category I had stopped in the new age store because I wanted to buy some incense. The store was filled with people, some dressed in costumes. They seemed to be waiting for something. I asked a young lady dressed in a middle ages type dress what was going on.
She said her name was Hespabah or Hespbah or something that I still can’t pronounce. Hes, as I will call her from now on, was a rather comely fair maiden who loved to talk and I must admit I liked talking to her even though she did ninety-five percent of the talking. She explained that today was the spring equinox and there was going to be ceremony and it was a happy ceremony and I would like it and I could have a wish come true if I went to the ceremony. At that moment in time, I could only think of one wish I wanted to come true so I decided to attend the ceremony.
At that moment, the door to the meeting room opened and a woman dressed totally in black stepped out. She calmly proclaimed: “It is time. Come inside.”
Hes grabbed my hand and said, “Quick, we have to go or we will not get a seat.” I followed along caught up in the moment. As we came to the doorway, the woman in black greeted us.
“Welcome Hespaba, good to see you. “ The two women hugged. The woman in black then turned to me. “Who do we have here? “ Hes answered for me.
“This is my new friend, Jack. Jack, this is . . .” The woman in black finished the introduction. “Deidre.” I did not know what was the proper greeting - should I shake her hand, give her a hug, or just nod my head. Before I could make up my mind, Deidre grabbed me by the back of my head, made a waving motion with her hands, and kissed me on my forehead. She let go and said “Now you are ready.” She motioned with her hands toward the room. “Enter Hespaba and Jack. Sit in front.”
Hes was very excited. “Wow, this is great - I have never sat in front before.” She pulled me by my hand to a couple of seats in the first row, just to the right of center. I was a little bit in shock. I had not expected Dreidre to do what she did and she did do something because I was in a bit of a haze. In spite of my haze, I managed to ask Hes who Deidre was.
“She is the high priestess of the coven.’ replied Hes proudly. “She will be one of the Two running the ceremony tonight.”
“Who’s the other ?” I asked. I was wondering if I had to be kissed by another priestess.
“Mark Darklight.” whispered Hes. “I don’t like him. He has weird eyes.”
“Is he here somewhere ?” I asked. I was wondering if I had to be kissed by Mark.
“Oh, no.” Hes said still whispering, “He comes in after the start and takes over for Deidre.” She glanced around as if she was making sure no one was listening in. “Tonight is going to be different. Tonight, Deidre is going to stand up for herself. She is not going to let Mark push her around anymore.”
It was at that point that I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into. Hes kept talking. She told me of how Deidre and Mark met, how Mark had made her his apprentice, how Mark had seduced Deidre and how for two years Deidre had stood at Mark’s side as he grew in magic and fame (? I wondered if there was a witch subculture and just how famous Mark was.) I wondered if Deidre had somehow marked me and I wondered if Mark was going to be jealous and I was about to wonder what curse would be laid upon me when. . . . I noticed the quiet.
The rest of the story will be revealed in class tonight - Frank
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
A Sleeping Dream
It stays
with you
as you move around in the world of material concerns
It is spirit and it rests lite on your head
waiting
till you open your sleeping soul
then the real dream awakens once again
with you
as you move around in the world of material concerns
It is spirit and it rests lite on your head
waiting
till you open your sleeping soul
then the real dream awakens once again
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Writing for Whom
* Sometimes, okay everyday, when I start to write I encounter a demon who says
"WHat does it matter whether you write or not. You get nothing out of it and those who read it might get a chuckle but they could get that from the comics or the horoscope. Your writings are trivial, forgotten in minutes." The demon is good at what he does and what he does is try to stop me.
* Many days he wins. I stop and worse I make excuses: I need to go here and do that and I guess the Muse is not with me and I am not in the mood and I just can't. . .
In the end, it comes to a simple conclusion - whether or not I wrote. Today I write, yesterday I wrote, the days before that I did not. End of story. The reasons are just unnecessary brain workings to explain why. I am beginning to grasp that.
* I was surfing in the kitchen (because that is where my board (computer) is) yesterday when I came upon some comments someone left on a YouTube posting. The person was thanking the poster for making his day presumably due to the video being there. I began to think what if. What if my writings could make someones day or week or life. What if the things I say in my writings could help someone, then I guess it would be worth it. We are in this together - what helps one helps us all.
Frank
"WHat does it matter whether you write or not. You get nothing out of it and those who read it might get a chuckle but they could get that from the comics or the horoscope. Your writings are trivial, forgotten in minutes." The demon is good at what he does and what he does is try to stop me.
* Many days he wins. I stop and worse I make excuses: I need to go here and do that and I guess the Muse is not with me and I am not in the mood and I just can't. . .
In the end, it comes to a simple conclusion - whether or not I wrote. Today I write, yesterday I wrote, the days before that I did not. End of story. The reasons are just unnecessary brain workings to explain why. I am beginning to grasp that.
* I was surfing in the kitchen (because that is where my board (computer) is) yesterday when I came upon some comments someone left on a YouTube posting. The person was thanking the poster for making his day presumably due to the video being there. I began to think what if. What if my writings could make someones day or week or life. What if the things I say in my writings could help someone, then I guess it would be worth it. We are in this together - what helps one helps us all.
Frank
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