Monday, June 16, 2008

The God I Want

I sit on the deck at dusk, thinking and reading (maybe not in that order). The book I am currently looking at asks me to write down the God I want, i.e. what does this God have or does that you would want.
The thought of designing God is novel to me, it makes me stops and wonder. I realize that I have never dared ask God to be something for me. I know I can't make God be something but I can ASK God to be something for me.
So I try it. I ask God if it's okay define the God I want.
Then the clouds parted and a booming voice said : YES, BUT DON'T MAKE IT TOO HARD ON ME - I AM AN OLD MAN, YOU KNOW !!
Actually, a soft gentle feeling cloaked me in a loving embrace - I took that to mean more than yes because I had already thought of the God I wanted and the God I wanted was a loving, caring, nurturing God, One that I can talk to and share my thoughts with, like a child shares with their mother.
I realize that I always wanted this type of God - I realize that I wanted my parents to be that but they, being human, weren't quite up to the job. I kept searching throughout my life for this but always in other people. Why didn't I just go to the source ? I think that I viewed God as being distant, someone who was busy with a thousand other things, all more important than me. I might have gotten that idea from my parents or my religion but it does not matter.
I have discovered that the God I want does exist and She is coming over for tea. I think I'll serve my special tea - I think He'll like it.


dmSoulsearcher said...

It sounds like you've experienced an epiphany! The only gods that really exist for people are the ones that they design for themselves. That is why, though we claim there is ONE GOD, that God can be so many things for so many people--they are designing God in their own image and likeness. I don't mean to be disrespectful or sacrilegious. It's just that our only knowledge of God comes through analogy: God is! Yes, we anthropomorphize God to be like us human beings! I like your assignment of both genders to God in the end...very enlightened of you! And I'm sure the tea was much appreciated!

Lin said...

Was the he/she interchange at the end intentional or another Sara/Clara thing to see if we are awake?

Interesting thoughts on God--always a thought-provoking subject. You are making me think too hard for summer vacation, Frank. Could you just write some light-hearted romances or something?!

About Me

I am a crabby old man who hates everything
I am a tiny wonderer in a large world
I am a young hippie tree-hugger
I am a mid-life crisis disaster area.
I am an attitude of stillness waiting for a wind.
I have not decided yet.