Day 3 - Second Thoughts (at least I think so)

I was sitting listening to Bev reading her essay on an ideal place to live. She was talking about living out in the West (which really means west of the great plains - mont. wyom. colo. ariz. and n.mex.). The first thought that came to my mind was one has to live where one is at. Sort of a Zen thing. Then I thought what if Bev is right. What if I really would rather live in the West? This thought led to other second thoughts which led me to think (or rethink) about me doing counselling. Is there still an itch to do that ? I listened to as not one but two people in the writing group last night talked about getting into counselling. The first thought that came up was - maybe this is a sign that I should try counselling again.
The second thought was quite the reverse. I thought about what attracted me to Psychology in the first place - finding answers to me and my problems. I was thrilled that someone had found out that the things I encountered in growing up can affect one's behavior later in life. I grew up in a semi-alcoholic house. I say semi- because my father for a stretch of a few years drank heavily. Then he stopped with no interventions, 12 steps or antibuse. He just stopped (the heavy drinking - beer stayed). Unfortunately, for me, the years he drank heavily were my teenage years plus one. By the time I was 21, he was done drinking - I was an adult and I had no desire for fatherly advice anymore. But I kept my issues, that is, until I went back to college and discovered through psych classes that I had issues. Of course, like most rational adults, I did not think that these issues were all that bad.
But now I was pondering a return to counselling and something came to my mind - the fact that I am now much happier now than I have ever been in my entire life. I weighed this happiness against how I felt when counselling people and I discovered something important to me. My father showed me the answer - all those year ago - when he solved his drinking problem - all healing is self-healing.
I have healed myself (and my issues) not by focusing on what was wrong but by acting on what is positive (for me). I feel I am on a path with heart and I feel that this path for now involves writing, not counselling. So I guess I can say: On second thought, I will continue being positive and writing.
Frank

Day Two - Special Little Gifts

Today I am focusing on enjoying some of the things that I acquired last week. We have moved into that part of the retailers calendar called Pre-Back to School Sales. In the pre-back to school sale time, one can acquire all kinds of writing materials for very little money. I do not have a school get list, so I can pick and choose whatever I want. The unfortunate part is one has to get to the store in the first two hours of the sale or the teaser item is gone. I found that out in two places - WalMart (5 cent 70 page notebooks) and Walgreens (5 cent mini-note pads).
It seems that stores are trying to entice you, the shopper, to do all your school shopping in one place. So they get you there by having an item or two for outrageously low prices. I bought 20 paper file folders for a penny each (Office Depot) and 20 70 page notebboks for 10 cents each at Walts grocery store, (my big splurge). I got 5 mechanical pencils for a penny each at Walgreens and I got filler paper for a quarter each (Staples) - I am still waiting for Target's sale to get pens and perhaps more notebooks.
The point is that these little sales came at a time when I decided to things -1) to face life with a positive attitiude and 2) dedicate myself to writing the stuff that is in my heart.
When I made these two steps, the 'real' world came out with its little sales and I take that as a sign that the universe supoprts me and is giving me little gifts as a token of good will.
I say thank you world - I will accept them. Now if you will excuse me I am going to use my 25 cent crayons to do a little drawing.
Frank

Day One

Toady is the start of what I hope will be my 30 day program to a new and better life. Of course, I am using a book for inspiration. This book is called "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting". Its main point is using something called : The Law of Attraction. To summarize the book and the law, what you attract in life will be how you are. You might be saying 'Huh" right now SO I will explain. If I am feeling negative (crabby), I will attract things that make me crabby. If I am feeling loving, I will attract things that melt my heart. This principle is the basis for the bestselling book THE SECRET. Everyone who has got this principle to work - you guessed it - they swear it works. But what about me ?
I bought "Excuse ME" several years ago in Vermont because I was feeling wonderful about seeing the youth (and their enthusiasm) of Burlington Vermont. I was feeling good and I wanted to get something to keep that feeling, a reminder of sorts (some people call these souvenirs). Being the nerd I am and was I went into a local bookstore and found several 'neat' books that I had never seen before. I scanned them and decided (because I was of course on a budget) that I could only get one - so I bought Excuse ME. And promptly, never read it. Cover to cover that is. I have read bits and pieces, every now and then but for some reason the message was too much for me.
But now I have decided to put the message in action. No more negativity. I am only going to cultivate positive feelings and positive results. Starting today.
What does this mean to you ? Well for one thing, no matter how bad you write or how bad your subject matter is, I will only tell you what is good about your essays. and if I win the lotto I will continue to teach (?) writing positively. I will continue to share my gift (?) with the world.
So if you have any winning lotto tickets lying around the house please send them to me in care of the Center in Palos Heights. Put them in a plain envelope and mark the outside with the words
WINNING LOTTO TICKET INSIDE - I know I will get it.
Thank you for listening,
Frank
P.S. Keep Writing.

Maybe there is a god

Sometimes in writing this blog, I wonder if my words are just going out to the universe's garbage dump. To rot or whatever but lately I have noticed things changing. These maybe small trivial changes but they are changes nonetheless. Weeks ago I wrote about Plucky the cigarette smoking duck who seemed to be advocating reading to young people. He was prominately displayed on the Frankfort Public Library website. Last week, the library staff changed the website and poof, no more Plucky. The new website is . . . different. To me, it has a less childish feel to it. I don't know if that is good or bad.
Frankfort Library Website
Point number two - I wrote an essay which stated how uninspired I was by Frankfort's fireworks display of 2008. Well, for people who live in this area, public access channel 6 shows many Frankfort events replayed and I happened to see a replay of the fireworks show. It was surprising to me because the people who made the replay took out the terrible music we the people who showed up had to listen to and replaced it with instrumental traditional tunes such as John Phillip Susa's. Much better. However, the show itself still stunk - this time I counted 15 straight of the same firework. I had only thought there was 10 straight.
Point number threee - the evolution of my thinking - which really does not amount to a hill of beans but in terms of the creative writing class - I really have come a long way. When i started the class a year ago, I wanted only one thing - a class that I could use to encourage my wriiting, to get it out from the shell in the closet of the basement of the abandoned building of my mind that it was living in. I also wanted others to get their writing out into the world. I think that we, me and youse guys, have done that well. But I am left feeling that there is more that I can do with this class. It is just that I am not sure what that more is. Do you have any suggestions ? Frank